Remember Me
50 Years After the Fall
Artist Statement April 17, 1975.
It has been called "the day Cambodia descended into hell." It was a day that indisputably changed the course of a nation and the life of anyone who survived.
By spring 1975, Phnom Penh, the capital city of Cambodia, had grown to an estimated population of three million people. Many had fled to the city from their rural homes, as Khmer Rouge forces gained control of outlying areas throughout the preceding years of civil conflict. The mission of the totalitarian Khmer Rouge was to return the country to “year zero,” and on April 17th, they took the last part of the country that stood in the way of their goal. It was on this day, as Phnom Penh fell, that Cambodia devolved from civil war to genocide.
At gunpoint the entire city was emptied. Residents were forced into the countryside on foot, carrying only a few possessions, if any. Those who refused to go were killed on the spot. Men, women, and children were separated into groups - some were interrogated to assess their allegiance to the regime. No person was allowed to challenge the regime, so anyone with higher education was executed. Those who spoke multiple languages, who were teachers or doctors, or wore glasses (a sign of being educated) were among those killed first. Citizens who were allowed to live were sent to work camps where they were forced to work the land daily, with only one small bowl of unsalted rice-water to eat. Those who didn’t die of exhaustion, starvation, or other forms of torture died of disease. An estimated two million people perished in the horrific days that continued into January 1979. As a photographer, the camera has been my passport into the lives of those who survived, or more accurately, it’s played a secondary role to curiosity and uncharacteristic boldness. History is often a distant tale when witnessed through the pages of a textbook, but when we hear it from those who lived it, it becomes part of our story as well, with the potential to serve as both protector and guide. This work weaves together contemporary portraiture, historic photojournalism, and personal testimonies that honor Cambodia's oldest generation, whose profound experiences continue to shape the nation’s identity and collective memory. This work aims to further important dialogue about the long-term impact of this pivotal moment in history, while preserving the personal stories of those who survived for future generations.
Srey Nher age unknown : "My current job is to harvest morning glories from the lotus swamp in front of the school. I sell the stems at the vegetable stand in the afternoon. This is how I make a living. During the war I was forced to dig and haul a lot of dirt. A group of us were forced to make a very big pile of dirt, about as tall as a three story building. I still don't know why they made us do that. Today I have no education and I am old so my future isn't good. I have to work in dirty places. I often get sick from working everyday in the swamp."
Ou age 98 : "The most difficult moment of the war was when my wife got very sick. They sent her to the health center in a different province but the doctors couldn't care for her. The commander of my district heard the news about my wife and had pity on me. He told me that she was near death. When I heard this news I felt that my heart was in my mouth. He told me to go get her. I had to get permission to go - permission from the leader of the region I was being held to work in. At first he did not allow me to go and wanted to bring me to the field to kill me because they thought I was giving an excuse to escape from working, but when they received a letter from the health center about my wife they realized I was telling the truth and let me go. I was taken there by soldiers. I brought one hammock for my wife to lay in for the journey back. She was unconscious so I stretched the hammock between two bicycles and walked back to the province pushing them. The journey took two days and one night. The commander said that I must care for my wife myself now. They said I had one week to make her well. If I could not do this, we would both be executed. I didn't care if I lived or died because life was very hard, but I wanted my wife to live. I found some traditional medicine and provided this treatment to my wife everyday. She got well and the days continued until we could go free."
SanNum age 75 : "I have lived in Phnom Penh my entire life." *SanNum's home is a wooden, slatted platform, no walls. This is where she sleeps and works, selling snacks to children and passersby. "I was married at age 19. My marriage was arranged by my parents and that was good for me. We had children before, during, and after the war - eleven total but only four are still living. My husband died when I was 55. I survived the war by just doing what I was told, which was a lot of different jobs like cooking and harvesting the rice." *Due to her extremely low weight, my translator (who is a trained nurse) inquired about her health. SanNum said that she takes medication daily. When she showed the medication to us we saw that she had been taking an antibiotic. She said that she had been taking that medicine for approximately 20 years.
Pich age 85 : "Listen to your parents and obey! Go to school. Look at me - I completed grade three and then I didn't listen . . . I became a soldier instead and now I have nothing. I lost my fingers to disease. I have no specific job but I gather trash from the roads and trash bins. I sell it for recycling so that I can take care of myself."
Enn-Eang age 81: “I had five children, but three died during the war. One of them was only one week old. My surviving children are one daughter and one son. My son lives far away, but my daughter lives in the city, so I live with her and her family. My husband died in the war, approximately 1975. As a child I went to school through grade three. My best friends were Saroo, Saruh, and Srey Touch. We liked to play a game where you throw something small into the air and then pick up additional small items from the ground [similar to the American game of Jacks]. I liked studying, and my idea was to become a teacher one day. When the country was at war, I worked at making gravel. This was tiresome work because we had to make the gravel by breaking bigger rocks into small pieces using only hand tools. While I was at work my children stayed with the cook, in the kitchen area of our camp. This was a very difficult time, and all Cambodian people were suffering. Before the war my husband worked in a factory, and I stayed home with the children, but when the war started, we were all sent to different work camps. I mentioned that my husband and three of my children died. I saw my baby die, but I assume about the others, because I never saw them again. When the fighting ended, there was an NGO called Assembles of God that helped me start over again. This is how I became a Christian. After I became a Christian, many of my friends and family left me, because they were afraid. I think that Cambodian people have a hard time opening their heart to God, because of the tradition [of Buddhism]. I live with a thankful attitude though, and do work around the house for exercise. I keep up my language skills by reading my Bible and memorizing scripture.” [Before we left Enn-Eang recited an entire passage of scripture (2 Corinthians 9:6-11) for us - from memory.]
Kong Sokung age 86 : "I was first married in 1958 but my wife died of sickness during the war. We had five children. Three of our children died, two from sickness and one was killed by Pol Pot. The two surviving children both work today. My daughter does handi-crafts and my son works for the ministry of transportation. I met and married VaYou in 1978, near the end of the war. Nine children have been born to us. Three of our children died at birth and one died of dengue fever at the age of 4 months. We have fourteen grandchildren. During the war my job was to cut down trees. This was a very difficult time. The work was hard and many people were sick. I would work from 4am to 8pm everyday. We were given one bowl of rice water, without salt, to eat - one bowl each day. My body was very swollen from work and hunger at that time." *At the end of the interview I asked if there was anything else that he would like to share about his life, perhaps something that I hadn't asked. He said, "There is one thing you might find interesting: Do you know Jackie Kennedy?" After I confirmed that he was speaking about the former first lady of the United States, he said, "Yeah, I drove in her motorcade when she visited Cambodia in the late 1960's. Like my son today, I drove for the ministry of transportation as a job [before the war]. There weren't many cars in Cambodia at that time, maybe only around ten or twelve, as they were just for very wealthy people. When Mrs. Kennedy visited I drove the prince of Cambodia in the second car of the motorcade. My friend, Vuth, drove Mrs. Kennedy in the first car."
SokChan age 75 : *I met SokChan outside the interior gate of the temple. She lives on the street but said she frequently sleeps near the reclining Buddha or in the stupas (tombs). She drinks water from the pond and relies on handouts for food but was adamant that she does not beg. SokChan was married in 1970 and had five children - three before Pol Pot and two during the war. "My mother-in-law was good to me but my husband was a cheater. He took other wives and we divorced following the war." Two of her children died during the war. She saw one die and the other was taken to a re-education camp where she assumes she also died. Today she does not have a good relationship with the three surviving children. Approximately one year ago they stole her valuables and abandoned her at the temple. She would like to become a nun but she says she is not allowed. She believes that the monks discriminate against her due to her family history and the fact that she sometimes drinks alcohol. "I drink the alcohol to escape the emotional pain. But the monks believe that I have committed crimes and feel that I cannot be trusted." When asked if she had any advice for the younger generation she said, "When you grow up, remember your family. Men need to care for their wives and family, don't just leave them broken and destroyed."
Varum age 76 : "I live alone. I used to be married but my wife died about 20 years ago from sickness. We had twelve children but ten of them died in the war. Our two living children now have children of their own. They come visit me on holidays. During the war I tried to escape to Vietnam but was captured on the way and sent to prison. I saw Pol Pot kill many people. There was a group of us who tried to escape. Those who made it all the way to Vietnam were traded for water buffalo and sent back to Cambodia. They were executed as an example of what would happen if anyone escaped. I would like to give some advice to the younger generation: learn to love self, others, and country. Do not follow the ways of Pol Pot. Cambodia was beautiful and people always helped each other. After Pol Pot got his education in France he returned to Cambodia not loving his country or the people. To not love your own country, that is just crazy. Teach and love one another, provide discipline, yes, but killing should never be an option."
Va You age 76 : "I met KongSokung when I was 35. I lived in the neighboring commune and he would come to look after the water buffalo. Another family from my village noticed him and recommended him to me. There was another man pursuing me at the time but I thought KongSokun was a better choice. The first time we saw each other was when I was working in the rice field. Our babies were not born in the hospital. There was no hospital! An older woman came to help me with the births. She was not a doctor or midwife, just an older woman who had experience. Three of our babies died at birth. During the war my job was to carry cow dung to fertilize the field. I carried it in a large basket on my head. I would like to remind the younger generation to think about how difficult it was in earlier times and to not waste the time now. Work hard by your own hands and keep busy caring for each other."
Ol Phang age 89 : "I have lived at the Wat for 19 years. I do similar work as the nuns do, accepting prayers of patrons and some jobs for the monks. I went to school in the temple through grade 6. [There was no formal schooling in Cambodia until the 1960s]. The war was a terrible time. The army forced men to plow and women to plant the fields, by hand. There was no machinery. I survived by doing as I was told. Those who did not obey would be killed. The best advice I can give is to always try to do good, no stealing, murder, or adultery. And for personal health, eat healthy food that is free of chemicals. Rice is a good food that provides much strength . . . and one last thing. Please tell your country about Cambodia's wartime; how we lived and survived."
Kim Kong age 76 : "My husband was a policeman and was killed by Pol Pot's soldiers when the city fell. Because I was married to a policeman the Khmer Rouge said that I had 'a head that was Vietnamese and a body that was Cambodian.' This was an insult that implied that my loyalty was divided. They suspected that I was a traitor so after they killed my husband I was jailed for approximately 3 months. The jail was made from earth, it was not a regular building. Initially I was held down in shackles and not given food for several days. When I was interrogated I was able to convince them that I was not a traitor, as they thought. Following this experience they continued to hold me captive, but I was 'free' to do work during the day. The work assigned to me was hulling and threshing rice - by hand. Crying was not allowed. If there was crying, there would be punishment. I want to share that I was a strong Buddhist for 40 years, and even shaved my head, but when I was in my 60's my grandson told me about Jesus and I started to reflect on the idea of sin. I decided that I would 'test' this faith and see what happened. I was blessed many times as I turned toward Christ. Someone even built a house for me! I have been a Christian now for 12 years."
![KenKai age 77 : "I was born with just one eye working. My left eye has always been closed. When I was young I was a cowboy [a child who tends to the cows, walking them to and from the river each day, providing water and food]. I went to school at](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e54c21d787a213cff98b8f2/1610928147696-Z2MFXJHXGZFIZ9QSESQH/D10A5092w.jpg)
KenKai age 77 : "I was born with just one eye working. My left eye has always been closed. When I was young I was a cowboy [a child who tends to the cows, walking them to and from the river each day, providing water and food]. I went to school at the temple and I learned to read. I don't remember exactly when I married. It was around 1945 or 1950, somewhere in that timeframe. We had eight children. We all survived the war. I have around thirty grandchildren now! It was very hard to live during the war. My wife and I were taken to different locations but made to do the same work, which was mainly digging. There was a lot of bombing in my province, which was frightening. I lost many friends during that time. I do not want to see war happen again but I think it will depend on the leader."